Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Blotter 27: Yankton, you need to be more hilarious, this crap just isn't cutting it.

Yeah. I know I suck at updating my blog. I place the blame squarely on Yankton. Nothing worth posting has ended up in the Yankton blotter in quite some time, and not seeing funny business in Yankton's paper saps my motivation so that I don't look at other online blotters.

So this is a call to the residents of Yankton, South Dakota. Go out and do funny shit. Get drunk, get naked, get stupid. Nine people read this blog and they are counting on you to give them mild amusement. Just don't get yourselves hurt. That's not what we're about here at STPB.

From the Flathead Beacon, Montana, 12/16/09:

12:09 p.m. A small amount of paint came off of a county vehicle while going through a carwash.

Seriously?? Why this warranted a call to ANYBODY let alone the police, is beyond me.

1:36 p.m. Three counterfeit $20 bills turned up at an Evergreen box store. They were poorly done, having lived former lives as $5 bills.

I for one have to give the counterfeit bills credit. Rather than be content with the lowly status in life that they were assigned, they aspired to be something more. Way to go, little guys. Keep fighting the good fight.

10:27 p.m. Someone on Spring Creek Drive noticed several parties get out of their vehicles, engage in what appeared to be a fight, and then leave.

The first rule of Fight Club is YOU DON'T TALK ABOUT FIGHT CLUB. Geesh!