Monday, October 19, 2009

Blotter 24: More Parenting Lessons from the Yankton PD

From the Yankton Press & Dakotan, Oct 14 2009:

• A report was received at 7:12 p.m. Tuesday that toys had been left in the road in the 800 block of Birch. A mother and child were spoken with about the incident.

• A report was received at 8:19 p.m. Tuesday of a juvenile urinating outside in the 2200 block of Douglas. Contact was made with the child’s mother, who denied that her child had been outside.

I can just imagine the officer's lecture: "Keep your toys picked up; learn to use your big boy potty, or else we'll have to take you downtown and put you in the time-out corner for 20 minutes."

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Blotter 23- Restroom time limits for the homeless?

From the Kittitas County WA Daily Record, Oct 12-13, 2009:

A homeless man was reportedly in the restroom for 10 minutes on Canyon Road.

Hey, he's homeless...maybe he can't afford Metamucil or that fancy fiber-filled yogurt that makes old ladies shit themselves with brain-dead glee. (Seriously, click the link, it's funny). Homeless or not, can't a guy just sit down and drop a deuce in peace for once?

Is it just me, or does this entry deserve the "poop" tag too? You tell me.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Blotter 22- "They beat me up and stole my....methamphetamine?"

From the Kittitas County Daily Record, Washington:

A woman reported that a friend came to her residence and said people beat him up and stole his methamphetamine in Cle Elum.

Ya know, there was a time when a guy could walk down the street with a pocket full of crystal meth and not have to worry about having it stolen. In my day, bullies mostly gave out swirlies and wedgies, and then stole your lunch money. My, how times have changed.

A woman reportedly took off her rings to wash her hands, turned momentarily, and then the rings were reportedly stolen at Indian John Rest Area along I-90.

Wait...."Indian John" is the name of the rest area? Awesome. I never knew that, despite having been there. They named the roadside toilets "Indian John". That's great. A little politically incorrect perhaps, but great nevertheless.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Blotter 21: Go Fish

Alright! My first outside submission from somebody who isn't my mom (not that I don't absolutely love my mother's participation, hi Mom!)
Jess sends this one in, from the Pasadena Citizen in Pasadena, TX, 9/29/09:

Jewelry and goldfish were at the heart of a Pasadena domestic dispute Saturday, when a man reported his common-law wife had kidnapped his seven pet goldfish, and was holding them hostage in an argument over some jewelry she said he had taken from her.

When a police officer went to the couple’s residence in the 1100 block of Queens Road to try to negotiate the release of the unfortunate fish, the woman said she was unable to return them, as she had already fried the fish and eaten three of them.

No charges were filed in the case, according to Vance Mitchell, public information officer for Pasadena Police Department.

I'm at a loss for words here. Except to say, I totally didn't know you could eat goldfish. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to Petco to pick up dinner....