Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Blotter 26: Drugs are bad, (and so is public urination) mmkay?

From the Kittitas County Washington Daily Record, Nov. 13-17:

A person reported seeing someone smoke meth or marijuana on Sixth Avenue.

Somehow I picture whoever called in this report as an agitated senior citizen. And the actual conversation went something like this: "Them delinquent kids is at it again, down the road. They're over there smokin' that roofer. Or they're shootin' up that crystal mess...whatever they call it...the stuff that makes your pecker fall off." Generally speaking, the paraphernalia associated with each drug is somewhat different- you can't really smoke weed out of a lightbulb or off a piece of tinfoil. Not that I'm an expert on such things, or anything.

People were reportedly urinating on someone’s yard on Brooksfield Street.

A person reportedly urinated in someone’s yard on Main Street.

A 40-year-old man reportedly walked outside and urinated on Fourth Avenue.

Apparently it was Public Urination Day in Kittitas County, and these folks were just trying to get in on the festivities. Either that, or they are practicing for the big annual "Write Your Name in the Snow" competition that takes place in January.

And finally...
A person reported they believed their friend was being misrepresented on Facebook on B Street.

Because that's SUCH a good reason to get the police involved. God forbid their friend should fail to have anybody respond to their status updates, or have too few people accept invitations to his birthday party- the SWAT team might just have to show up!

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Blotter 25: The Dog Whisperer, Dogs Gone Wild

First, a note from STPB: You may (or may not) notice that posting has been and will continue to be slower than normal for a while. I've recently moved way out in the middle of nowhere (about 3 miles down the dirt road featured in the blog's title photo above, in fact.) I am in the process of trying to rectify my Internet connectivity issues. I'll try to make updates to the blog when I can- but for now, please bear with me. Know that I deeply appreciate all of my 9 readers, including my dear mother...we'll be back to normal soon, I hope. Now, without further ado:

From the Flathead Beacon, Montana, Oct 30, 2009:

1:23 p.m. Someone on Larch Lane reports that a neighbor was beating their dog with a board. Authorities arrived to find that the dog had been attacking sheep, and advised the owner as to better disciplinary technique.

Gee....ya think? Confining the dog so that he couldn't get to the sheep must have been too hard. I'd hate to see this person's parenting technique. Kid getting into fights at school? Beat him with a board until he figures out that violence is not the answer.

These entries are from the same paper, but from October 28, 2009:

11:10 a.m. A pit bull and a golden retriever mix ran wild on Highway 2 West.

I like to think there was a camera crew and alcohol involved....and at some point, you just KNOW one of these dogs got drunk, rolled over & bared eight perky boobies for the camera.