From the Flathead Beacon, Montana, 9/26/09:
8:54 a.m. Someone on Elk Park Road noticed a suspicious figure wandering around the reporting party’s house. Authorities contacted the stranger, who explained that he was relieving himself in the woods after eating a dinner that upset his stomach.
I guess indoor plumbing isn't universal in this neck of the...erm...woods? And relieving himself "after dinner"...at 8:54 in the morning?
10:15 a.m. A counterfeit $50 bill showed up at a local casino.
He just wanted to play the slots, I guess?
3:06 p.m. A resident of Labrant road has been receiving hate mail for several years.
What he failed to mention was that he is actually Rush Limbaugh and was visiting his Montana ranch home to get in a quick deer hunt before going back on the air Monday. Case closed.
Coming soon, from Pixar…
1 year ago