Blotters 4: A peek at small-town Washington State

I found several note-worthy incidents from recent days on this site, and couldn't pick just one.

Reported from KVNews.com,in the Kittitas County WA area, between Aug 13-14, 2009:

-"Someone reportedly found a small baggie she believed to be containing crystal meth on University Way."
(Damn. Best I've ever done, is found a $5 bill on the ground outside of an Applebee's.)

-"Iron bars were reportedly found alongside the road on Golf Course Road in Cle Elum."
(Iron bars? Golf Course Road? They wouldn't be golf clubs, now would they?)

-"Someone was reportedly shooting a gun in a field and shot two coyotes on Teanaway Road in Cle Elum."
(Here in SD, that's not only legal, but encouraged.)

-"Someone reportedly picked up another person’s walker and threw it around the residence on Clockum Road."
(Now that's just plain mean. Hilarious mental image, but mean).

-"Ten vehicles were reportedly parked in a circle with kids standing in the circle on Capitol Avenue."
(Damn kids. Betcha they was drinkin' that wine, and smokin' them tweeds, too. Wearin them clothes all half off their ass...what the hell's goin' on today? Huh?)

From the same county, August 7-12:

-"A man reportedly went to the counter of a bank and said “give me money” on Fifth Avenue."
(The cops were called because he failed to say "please".)

-"An airplane was reportedly trying to land on Airport Road."
(Well, perhaps they should consider re-naming the road to eliminate future pilot error.)

-"A woman reported that her boyfriend was driving too fast on Interstate 90 near Easton."
(She called the cops on her boyfriend- whose car she was riding in- for speeding?? Wow. Is there a Bitch of the Year award in Washington State?)

This is a call that came in to the fire department...but, erm:
-"A 51-year-old Ellensburg man was reportedly not behaving normally."
(At least he was apparently being polite while behaving abnormally, otherwise they'd have sent out the cops).

-"A man reportedly was standing in someone’s yard with no clothes on Mountain View Avenue."
(Why doesn't this happen where I live?)

-"A person who purchased some DVDs found meth inside one on 8th Avenue."
(Damn! Was it the movie "Spun"? Washington truly is the land of rain and crystal meth).

Blotters 3: Awesome Driving Award

This is what happens when Chuck Norris drives a car.

From the Yankton Press & Dakotan, Aug 11, 2009:
Witnesses reported to the sheriff’s office at 10:28 p.m. Saturday that a 2000 GMC pickup rolled over near Highway 50 and 433rd Ave. The vehicle landed on its wheels, and the driver left the scene in it. It was determined that the driver was a 20-year-old Yankton man. He was arrested for reckless driving and failure to report an accident.

Reckless driving? More like Awesome Driving. I think in this case, the cops & witnesses were just jealous that they could never pull off such a kickass stunt.