Blotter 6: Cow Tipping FAIL.....

From the Yankton Press & Dakotan, 8/17/09:

-"A sheriff’s office report was received at 5:42 a.m. Monday that a 2003 Chevrolet pickup collided with a cow on 444th Ave. near 307th St. Estimated value of the damage to the vehicle was $3,298. The cow had to be put down due to its injuries."

Of all the accident reports in today's P&D, this one has the most costly amount of damage done to the car. There are some 2003 pickups in Yankton that are barely WORTH $3,298. Moral of the story? Watch out for cows when driving- they'll totally f*ck up your ride.

On another note, there's a cattle rancher down by 444th Ave who's having a neighborhood BBQ....all the burgers and slightly-gritty steaks you can eat! It's BYOB (Bring Your Own Buns). Num-num!!

Blotters 3: Awesome Driving Award

This is what happens when Chuck Norris drives a car.

From the Yankton Press & Dakotan, Aug 11, 2009:
Witnesses reported to the sheriff’s office at 10:28 p.m. Saturday that a 2000 GMC pickup rolled over near Highway 50 and 433rd Ave. The vehicle landed on its wheels, and the driver left the scene in it. It was determined that the driver was a 20-year-old Yankton man. He was arrested for reckless driving and failure to report an accident.

Reckless driving? More like Awesome Driving. I think in this case, the cops & witnesses were just jealous that they could never pull off such a kickass stunt.

Blotter Two: Call the cops- tell 'em to bring some jam.

Of all the pranks one can play that involve the use of foodstuffs...one Yankton resident was compelled to select peanut butter when seeking revenge on the neighbors.

From July 24, 2009 Yankton Press & Dakotan:
Two females and a male reported Friday morning that someone put peanut butter under the door handles on their vehicles while they were parked in the 2900 block of Douglas Ave. Several area residents were spoken with about the incident and were told to get along with each other.

I love the part where they were "told to get along with each other". I'm picturing a police officer armed with only a ruler, who frequently uses words like "hooligan" or "rascal". A cop who is an expert in stern lectures and finger-waggings. He's probably the guy they sent out to handle the pool-pooping kid, too.



IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!!!! (I couldn't resist).