Blogger 16: Cow chaos, normal bear behavior and evil cats.

From the Flathead Beacon, Flathead Valley Montana, 9/8/09:

10:09 a.m. A black calf ran amok in Creston.
"Ran amok"?? Are we sure it wasn't this lady....? (Seriously, click the link. It beats anything I've posted here so far!!)


11:39 a.m. Someone claimed to have found an open suitcase full of old clothes on Hubbard Dam Road. The supposed abandoned luggage turned out to be a pile of trash.
Suitcase full of clothes....pile of trash. Oh, the similarities...anybody could have made this mistake, right?

2:00 p.m. A mama bear and her two cubs exhibited normal bear behavior near the mailboxes on Lone Pine Road.
"Normal bear behavior"?? Normal bears would probably be trying to eat the mailboxes, I'd think.

2:36 p.m. One of the teachers at a Bigfork School did not enjoy the presence of a bat in the area.
Bat....as in "baseball" or "small blind flying mammal"?? I could see someone being uncomfortable with the animal-bat...but at 2:36 in the afternoon? Where was this bat? And if she was uncomfortable with a baseball bat, maybe there's some 'bizarre phobia' episode of Maury waiting for her...

2:20 p.m. One kid supposedly threatened another kid with a knife at an RV park on Helena Flats Road. Upon closer inspection, the weapon turned out to be a fingernail file.
Get back, or I'll cut you, ese. Or I'll give you a pedicure. You pick.


10:52 p.m. An individual on Whitefish Stage Road was alarmed to see something moving in the nearby willow trees. The mysterious prowler turned out to be a harmless domestic cat.
"Harmless"? Pah! Cats are evil...and this one was plotting something, rest assured.

Blotter 6: Cow Tipping FAIL.....

From the Yankton Press & Dakotan, 8/17/09:

-"A sheriff’s office report was received at 5:42 a.m. Monday that a 2003 Chevrolet pickup collided with a cow on 444th Ave. near 307th St. Estimated value of the damage to the vehicle was $3,298. The cow had to be put down due to its injuries."

Of all the accident reports in today's P&D, this one has the most costly amount of damage done to the car. There are some 2003 pickups in Yankton that are barely WORTH $3,298. Moral of the story? Watch out for cows when driving- they'll totally f*ck up your ride.

On another note, there's a cattle rancher down by 444th Ave who's having a neighborhood BBQ....all the burgers and slightly-gritty steaks you can eat! It's BYOB (Bring Your Own Buns). Num-num!!