Blotter 20: Woodland toilet, Limbaugh's ranch in Montana

From the Flathead Beacon, Montana, 9/26/09:

8:54 a.m. Someone on Elk Park Road noticed a suspicious figure wandering around the reporting party’s house. Authorities contacted the stranger, who explained that he was relieving himself in the woods after eating a dinner that upset his stomach.

I guess indoor plumbing isn't universal in this neck of the...erm...woods? And relieving himself "after dinner"...at 8:54 in the morning?

10:15 a.m. A counterfeit $50 bill showed up at a local casino.

He just wanted to play the slots, I guess?

3:06 p.m. A resident of Labrant road has been receiving hate mail for several years.

What he failed to mention was that he is actually Rush Limbaugh and was visiting his Montana ranch home to get in a quick deer hunt before going back on the air Monday. Case closed.

Blotter 18: I never knew the mail came on Sundays....

From the Yankton Press & Dakotan, 9/14/09:

• A report was received at 2:19 p.m. Sunday that feces had been found in a mailbox in the 1300 block of East 15th St.

"Bills, bills, junk mail, bills, feces, Sharper Image catalog....Oh...hey sweet! We got a postcard from Grandma!"

I have to wonder whether this was a home-brewed prank, or if somebody went to all the trouble to pay "Mailpoop.com" to pull this one off...

When I started this blog, not too long ago, I never imagined I'd be using the "poop" tag more than once. Thank you Yankton for exceeding my expectations in all ways possible.

Blotters- The Beginning: Putting the 'poo' in pool....

This is the incident that inspired the creation of this blog. I first featured it in my other blog, Cattledog Manifesto and by the time I'd posted 2 more from the same paper within the week, I figured it was time for a 2nd blog.

The following is from the Yankton Press & Dakotan, published Aug 7, 2009:
"A request for an officer was received at 7:49 p.m. Wednesday. Memorial pool staff requested that an YPD Officer speak with an 8-year-old boy about pooping on the floor. Boy was spoken to and advised he would not do it again."

Note to parents: If your child has the bathroom habits of a 10 week old Cocker Spaniel, he is too young to go to the pool by himself.

I love how this entry has so much ambiguity. For instance, the pool staff wanted the cop to speak to the boy ABOUT pooping on the floor? Did they want the boy to be REPRIMANDED, or did they just want to watch a kid squirm while a strange man talked to him about public defecation?