Friday, August 28, 2009

Small Town Mexico Is Hilarious, Too

Another contribution by the only person who reads this blog (apparently) dear, wonderful mother :)

This blotter is from someplace in Mexico. Here is the link to the original site, in Spanish:

Since my Spanish is limited to the phrases necessary to get a semi truck loaded with fruit at a Texas border-town shipping warehouse; I used Google Translate to get some idea as to what it all says. Which, of course, makes it even more hilarious, since the computerized translation is incredibly awkward.

Oh, and the best part? The mugshots are included on some of these blotters, often times along with the implements involved in the commission of the crime. Here are a few of my favorites:

Robbery at business, law merchant
Later, at 1820 hours elements of this address, on the streets of Czda. Augustine Olachea and Tenochtitlan, on the premises of the law merchant, who made the arrest said his name was Jose Angel Lopez Delgado, 37 years old, homeless and originally from Chihuahua state, since only moments before had attempted to remove without pay a Jimador tequila bottle 950 ml, being surprised by personnel of such negotiations, proceeding to give it to the military, so he was transferred to the rail generally being available to the superiority.

Moral of the story? Don't steal tequila and try to give it to....the military?

At 09:30 hours yesterday, parts of this address, on the streets of Campeche and lane three, they arrested who gave his name, Francisco EncarnaciĆ³n Romero Ojeda, 31 years old, it was reported by the C. Benito Yepez Maldonado, 20 years old, just before that person had entered her home and had taken a flange type hydraulic jack, an extension cord and a bag of tent, therefore, requested the presence of uniform for his arrest, as would happen at the Agency of the Prosecutor's Common Law, to settle his claim for, so that reported he was arrested and taken to the railing where he was generally available to the superiority.

(Don't you just HATE it when your "bag of tent" gets stolen?? Mine disappears every time I turn my back, it seems. Next time somebody steals it, I'm going to request the "presence of uniform" too- airline pilot,'ll help comfort me in my time of loss. And while I am sure this is just one of the quirks of Google translate, I really wonder what this whole "taken to the rail/railing" thing is? Sounds painful.)

Vegetable green and dry
At 12:50 hours yesterday, parts of this address, on the streets of Gomez Farias and Jalisco, who made the arrest said his name was Benjamin Lopez Gonzalez, 33 years old, alias "El Coyote" by occupancy car wash, same as above just before traveling on streets, on board a mountain bike type, white color with gray, and was smoking a cigarette, and noting the presence of the soldiers, without any reason attitude was quite nervous, so it was intercepted meters ahead, noting that agents who smoked cigarettes was forged from a green vegetable and dry, and to undergo a body search, he found two plastic wrappings, which each contain within it a green and dry vegetation, giving an approximate total weight of the cigarette and two wrappers of 8.0 grams and was arrested and taken to the railing where he was generally available to the superiority

(Note to self: POT IS A VEGETABLE!! This could make it SO much easier to get my 5 reccomended daily servings of vegetables!)

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